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kkong1028
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Name: Kevin Kong
Interests: traveling, b&w photography, politics, poetry, piano, basketball, latin axioms, street musicians, slow dance, minigolf, kayaking, whitewater rafting, rachmaninoff, good movies, good books, sleeping in, sleeping in the library, rolling in bed, audi r8, lamborghini gallardo, christmas lights, nature walks, sunsets, midnight snacks, exotic foods, exotic people, roadtrips
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  k0ng91
Member Since:
10/12/2005
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| I recently created accounts on other blogging services/social networks. I've never been a big fan of microblogging even on Facebook so I don't know how well or often I'd be using Twitter, but I really like the other services. Many people already have Tumblrs or are familiar with them (suitable more for the randoms: daily finds and intrigues or thoughts); Posterous features a really novel and cool way to blog - via email - and their interface/design is so neat and chic; Tastyword is simplicity at its best- I'll be doing more of the writing and chronicling here. I highly recommend all three; they all have Apple/Google-y "cool tech" feeling to them. With that said, Jay-Z tells me it's time to move On to the Next One.
Xanga has been my outlet and the chronicle of my life since freshman year. As much as this meant to me, I feel like this is also my ball and chain; it reminds me too much of high school. In a move paralleling my embarking on a new life, I am relocating to these different mediums:
kevinkong.posterous.com
kevinkong.tumblr.com
tastyword.com/kevinkong
twitter.com/kevinkong91
I hope that with each passing entry on these other sites, I will be able to look back on Xanga time and again to witness the boy who wondered, the boy who cared, the boy who came to be, the boy who lives in me. | | |
| I've reprioritized my life a lot. And it's starting to show on so many levels. And I'm taking my life one day, one step at a time so I'm always busy, always enjoying the moment and my current company, overcoming one obstacle/challenge at a time, and I feel like the victor before I go to bed every night.
My courseload this semester is a lot harder- a lot more reading. I like the challenge of it, and I am determined to succeed.
I am rushing a frat and a brotherhood, and am getting more involved in many clubs. I am meeting a lot of people and getting on deeper levels with people I already know. I love it.
I met a lot of cool, sweet, pretty girls recently and I'd like to get to know them better. I'm also really getting to know Tat a lot better too and I feel like my patience is finally paying off.
I haven't done a lot of the things that really make me happy. Reading Calvin & Hobbes, drawing, doodling, painting, reading for pleasure, taking walks, watching movies, playing piano, and most of all, writing. Granted I've been busy, but I should start pursuing more of these productive leisure activities instead of playing Smash.
I thought it'd be cool to list all the places I love to go, places where I'm always imagining myself to be, places where I'm completely happy with no worry in the world. Places I'd like to go exempted.
My favorite places in the world:
Lotte World, Six Flags, Adventureland, all amusement parks
Park across from Manhattan
Caumsett Park
Roslyn Park & the town
Huntington Village
Charles River
Oheka Castle
Old Westbury Gardens
Mohonk Mountain House
Appalachian hiking trails, esp Vermont
Jones Beach at night
Home
I used to make fun of pre-meds for taking on such rigorous courseloads and always complaining about their difficulty. Why would you put yourself through that? was my tease line for pre-meds I met. But I recently looked into the actual process of becoming a licensed doctor and it takes a lot more years, energy tuition money, and standardized tests than I'd imagined. And I finally realize why I've shunned that field or tried to make fun of pre-meds: it's because I know I myself can't handle it. I wouldn't be able to put myself through such a rigid, difficult path and survive it all. I don't have the discipline, patience, or the courage to do invest more than a decade of my life to tackle a discipline like that for one license. And so, I now respect all the pre-meds for what they are doing and wish them all luck because they are the real students, they have it hard, they are under the pressure. They will be curing my illnesses someday, so I am grateful, much in advance.
I've been thinking a lot these past few months so there's def more but I can't think at 4am, so this will do. | | |
| In a few hours, I will shed my skin and become a man.
This transition calls for a transformation. Reason must hold the fort over passions. I must assume responsibility of my family, my life, and perhaps soon, my partner-in-crime. I must come to terms with the fact that Santa doesn't really exist (bummer), that my life isn't just my life, that truth does not always prevail. Perhaps later, I will come to accept the mortality of life.
Granted, nothing about me will change significantly overnight. But for me this is more than just another day; this is more than being able to purchase cigarettes, porn, or tattoos. This is where I'm told I must part ways with my childhood.
Come to think of it, it's been a short while...too short. I used to think "the future" was so far away, like a distant fairytale land, almost as if college and grad schools, my career and marriage were concerns upon the shoulders of someone else. I was so absorbed in my innocent, sheltered youth. My dad's shoulders were the highest places on Earth, forged hall passes excused lateness, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow.
But if a small confession were in my allowance, I'm still a boy.
If left to my own devices without the constraint of discipline, I want to spend all day watching Saturday morning cartoons. I want to read Calvin & Hobbes comic strips all day. I want to play with bugs and jump into muddy puddles. I want to call the treehouse my castle and play war. I want to fret and daydream about the girl who gave me cooties and butterflies. I want to think that good things always happen to good people. I want to believe that forever means forever, that dreams always do come true.
But maybe I am still, and will always be, just a boy.
I used to think I had to abandon my youth to grow up, so I dreaded the day when I would have to turn into a boring, always-busy adult. But as of late, I have realized that it's not just about growing up; what is just as important, if not more, is staying young. There's enough seriousness and depressing shit going on in this world as it is. Why fret?
I believe charisma is seeing the man in a boy; charm is seeing the boy in a man.
I want to become a man of charisma and charm.
I will continue to cherish my childhood memories and entertain boyish whims as they come.
It's gonna be a great life. | | |
| Life has taken a different course, and I can feel it.
So much has changed since the last time I tried to collect my thoughts on paper. I survived third quarter. I got into colleges. I am a different person.
In a way, I'm glad my efforts did not go unnoticed. It all paid off in the end, as everyone had said it would. My parents look happier. My teachers seem proud. I've been told I now look as though my shoulders have been relieved of the burdens of the world. Well I must agree, for my days are now peaceful, my dreams are delightful, and my thoughts are truly complacent. I've taken up reading, writing, and taking walks again, all signs of my mental recuperation. I jotted down a few lines I improvised in the rain the other day, and I realized I hadn't done that in a while. Foolishly, I used to think I was a great poet with a knack for words; nowadays I can't bring myself to confront the pen and paper because anything I write now sounds so corny, hackneyed, or awkward to me. I don't know if that's a feeling common to all writers and poets... or have I grown more humble about my work and my capacity?
But I think the fact of the matter has not yet truly settled in my system.
With nine days of school left, I find myself unable to come to terms with reality. I am graduating high school. I am leaving my sheltered, innocent childhood in New York. I am starting a new life with new friends in a new city. I am growing up.
Even last year, whenever I looked ahead, the future seemed so far away. I always felt like I had plenty of time to do this and do that. I had so naively entertained that notion of timelessness and sheltered existence. It never occurred to me how soon I'd be graduating college and perhaps graduate school, entering the real world, marrying and having children of my own, and soon looking back at the entirety of my brief but busy life.
It almost seems like someone hit the "fast forward" button on my life. I'm not afraid of what's to come. I just wish time wouldn't fly as fast.
But maybe this is a good thing. People say time feels faster if you're enjoying life or if you're busy. Since I'm not busy at all these days, perhaps it's the former?
What am I going to do with my life? I still don't fucking know. All I know is that I ruled out some pretty good (aka secure) choices... The standard med track at a science-y school would have paid well. If I'd accepted that offer from Huntsman program at Penn I would've landed an executive business position with a 6-figure starting salary by graduation. FML. Me and my fucking ambition. Oh, and my goddamn morals, too.
And I am such a loser. I realized yesterday. It was probably the last time I would've seen her, and I couldn't even tell her how I felt. I'll probably regret not telling her later on, maybe for a very long time. What a fucking loser. Me and my fucking principles. Oh, and my goddamn pride, too.
I feel like a failure despite getting into my dream school. I guess I measure my happiness by a different standard.
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| I simply don't know where to begin.
Well first and foremost, wow. I cannot believe it's mid-March already. I know I've even said that back in October, but I seriously think life is accelerating. Before I know it, the sun sets on my afternoons; in a blink my nights are warmed to the start of a new day. I feel like even my class periods are getting shorter. My irratic, abnormal sleep cycle and naps are probably to blame. I hate how quickly senior year is coming to a close. I absolutely hate it.
I also realize I haven't written an entry since November. I think it's a fitting reflection of what's happened since and who I've become. In the months between November and now, I have been undergone the most trying, revealing, and pivotal experiences of my life.
It's been tough. Senior year has had its heights of happiness and the depths of despair. The night before the first day of school, I'd written anxiously about the upcoming "fight for my sanity, this struggle against my own limits, this battle against college admissions." And indeed, what a chaotic "war" it's been: I've been pushed to my limits intellectually, spiritually, and physically; I've seen the worst in many people around me; I've never been challenged enough to apply my intellect so completely as I had to in We the People; and for the first time, I actually had to fight for my sanity.
But overall, I believe I've fared relatively very well. I never broke down at the face of my breaking points. I worked harder to meet the challenges of We the People. I swallowed up my doubts, my angst, and my temptations. For this fortitude that has kept me alive, I am thankful.
And so, it comes as no surprise that I've lost my sense of time. I cannot grasp the fact that I have only 3 months of school left. Simply cannot. I think to a certain extent, I've maybe kept myself too busy over the past few months, albeit I needed those distractions to preserve my consciousness.
For the most part, I don't care anymore where I end up going. I rather lament with the utmost gravity the end of my high school years. I know there's a reason why half of the TV shows and all the popular books are focused on high school. Those short but timeless years of insulated innocence, unbreakable idealism, and the romantic aura emitted from the perpetuity of youth.
I know I will not have a problem acclimating to a college and I know college has its own perks. But I do not know if my mind can even accept graduation. I have so enjoyed my years at Hills East. I've met some of the best people here. I've grown from a naive newcomer to an established senior. I'm not ready to leave. I'm not ready to desert my youth.
I've always imagined my senior year modeled after One Tree Hill, Smallville, or somethin like that. A year full of unforgettable moments that evoke incalculable happiness, laid against the backdrop of the most picturesque towns. I know I've missed out on much of that because I've been so busy. But now that We the People is over and I'm getting into colleges, I can finally start to live my real senior year. And in whatever remaining time I have, I'm going to do everything in my power to live out a storybook senior year of my own.
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