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kkong1028
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Name: Kevin Kong
Interests: traveling, b&w photography, politics, poetry, piano, basketball, latin axioms, street musicians, slow dance, minigolf, kayaking, whitewater rafting, rachmaninoff, good movies, good books, sleeping in, sleeping in the library, rolling in bed, audi r8, lamborghini gallardo, christmas lights, nature walks, sunsets, midnight snacks, exotic foods, exotic people, roadtrips
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  k0ng91
Member Since:
10/12/2005
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| In a few hours, I will shed my skin and become a man.
This transition calls for a transformation. Reason must hold the fort over passions. I must assume responsibility of my family, my life, and perhaps soon, my partner-in-crime. I must come to terms with the fact that Santa doesn't really exist (bummer), that my life isn't just my life, that truth does not always prevail. Perhaps later, I will come to accept the mortality of life.
Granted, nothing about me will change significantly overnight. But for me this is more than just another day; this is more than being able to purchase cigarettes, porn, or tattoos. This is where I'm told I must part ways with my childhood.
Come to think of it, it's been a short while...too short. I used to think "the future" was so far away, like a distant fairytale land, almost as if college and grad schools, my career and marriage were concerns upon the shoulders of someone else. I was so absorbed in my innocent, sheltered youth. My dad's shoulders were the highest places on Earth, forged hall passes excused lateness, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow.
But if a small confession were in my allowance, I'm still a boy.
If left to my own devices without the constraint of discipline, I want to spend all day watching Saturday morning cartoons. I want to read Calvin & Hobbes comic strips all day. I want to play with bugs and jump into muddy puddles. I want to call the treehouse my castle and play war. I want to fret and daydream about the girl who gave me cooties and butterflies. I want to think that good things always happen to good people. I want to believe that forever means forever, that dreams always do come true.
But maybe I am still, and will always be, just a boy.
I used to think I had to abandon my youth to grow up, so I dreaded the day when I would have to turn into a boring, always-busy adult. But as of late, I have realized that it's not just about growing up; what is just as important, if not more, is staying young. There's enough seriousness and depressing shit going on in this world as it is. Why fret?
I believe charisma is seeing the man in a boy; charm is seeing the boy in a man.
I want to become a man of charisma and charm.
I will continue to cherish my childhood memories and entertain boyish whims as they come.
It's gonna be a great life. | | |
| Life has taken a different course, and I can feel it.
So much has changed since the last time I tried to collect my thoughts on paper. I survived third quarter. I got into colleges. I am a different person.
In a way, I'm glad my efforts did not go unnoticed. It all paid off in the end, as everyone had said it would. My parents look happier. My teachers seem proud. I've been told I now look as though my shoulders have been relieved of the burdens of the world. Well I must agree, for my days are now peaceful, my dreams are delightful, and my thoughts are truly complacent. I've taken up reading, writing, and taking walks again, all signs of my mental recuperation. I jotted down a few lines I improvised in the rain the other day, and I realized I hadn't done that in a while. Foolishly, I used to think I was a great poet with a knack for words; nowadays I can't bring myself to confront the pen and paper because anything I write now sounds so corny, hackneyed, or awkward to me. I don't know if that's a feeling common to all writers and poets... or have I grown more humble about my work and my capacity?
But I think the fact of the matter has not yet truly settled in my system.
With nine days of school left, I find myself unable to come to terms with reality. I am graduating high school. I am leaving my sheltered, innocent childhood in New York. I am starting a new life with new friends in a new city. I am growing up.
Even last year, whenever I looked ahead, the future seemed so far away. I always felt like I had plenty of time to do this and do that. I had so naively entertained that notion of timelessness and sheltered existence. It never occurred to me how soon I'd be graduating college and perhaps graduate school, entering the real world, marrying and having children of my own, and soon looking back at the entirety of my brief but busy life.
It almost seems like someone hit the "fast forward" button on my life. I'm not afraid of what's to come. I just wish time wouldn't fly as fast.
But maybe this is a good thing. People say time feels faster if you're enjoying life or if you're busy. Since I'm not busy at all these days, perhaps it's the former?
What am I going to do with my life? I still don't fucking know. All I know is that I ruled out some pretty good (aka secure) choices... The standard med track at a science-y school would have paid well. If I'd accepted that offer from Huntsman program at Penn I would've landed an executive business position with a 6-figure starting salary by graduation. FML. Me and my fucking ambition. Oh, and my goddamn morals, too.
And I am such a loser. I realized yesterday. It was probably the last time I would've seen her, and I couldn't even tell her how I felt. I'll probably regret not telling her later on, maybe for a very long time. What a fucking loser. Me and my fucking principles. Oh, and my goddamn pride, too.
I feel like a failure despite getting into my dream school. I guess I measure my happiness by a different standard.
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| I simply don't know where to begin.
Well first and foremost, wow. I cannot believe it's mid-March already. I know I've even said that back in October, but I seriously think life is accelerating. Before I know it, the sun sets on my afternoons; in a blink my nights are warmed to the start of a new day. I feel like even my class periods are getting shorter. My irratic, abnormal sleep cycle and naps are probably to blame. I hate how quickly senior year is coming to a close. I absolutely hate it.
I also realize I haven't written an entry since November. I think it's a fitting reflection of what's happened since and who I've become. In the months between November and now, I have been undergone the most trying, revealing, and pivotal experiences of my life.
It's been tough. Senior year has had its heights of happiness and the depths of despair. The night before the first day of school, I'd written anxiously about the upcoming "fight for my sanity, this struggle against my own limits, this battle against college admissions." And indeed, what a chaotic "war" it's been: I've been pushed to my limits intellectually, spiritually, and physically; I've seen the worst in many people around me; I've never been challenged enough to apply my intellect so completely as I had to in We the People; and for the first time, I actually had to fight for my sanity.
But overall, I believe I've fared relatively very well. I never broke down at the face of my breaking points. I worked harder to meet the challenges of We the People. I swallowed up my doubts, my angst, and my temptations. For this fortitude that has kept me alive, I am thankful.
And so, it comes as no surprise that I've lost my sense of time. I cannot grasp the fact that I have only 3 months of school left. Simply cannot. I think to a certain extent, I've maybe kept myself too busy over the past few months, albeit I needed those distractions to preserve my consciousness.
For the most part, I don't care anymore where I end up going. I rather lament with the utmost gravity the end of my high school years. I know there's a reason why half of the TV shows and all the popular books are focused on high school. Those short but timeless years of insulated innocence, unbreakable idealism, and the romantic aura emitted from the perpetuity of youth.
I know I will not have a problem acclimating to a college and I know college has its own perks. But I do not know if my mind can even accept graduation. I have so enjoyed my years at Hills East. I've met some of the best people here. I've grown from a naive newcomer to an established senior. I'm not ready to leave. I'm not ready to desert my youth.
I've always imagined my senior year modeled after One Tree Hill, Smallville, or somethin like that. A year full of unforgettable moments that evoke incalculable happiness, laid against the backdrop of the most picturesque towns. I know I've missed out on much of that because I've been so busy. But now that We the People is over and I'm getting into colleges, I can finally start to live my real senior year. And in whatever remaining time I have, I'm going to do everything in my power to live out a storybook senior year of my own.
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| - Write a book, esp a poetry book
- Paint a picture
- Sculpt something
- Invent something
- Build my own house ground up
- Get my portrait and caricature drawn
- Learn how to play acoustic guitar
- Learn how to cook
- Cook something for someone
- Sample foreign foods - Chinese, Indian, Italian, Greek, Korean, Thai, French
- Try winetasting
- Learn to speak Chinese
- Take salsa and tango lessons
- Write and record a song
- Serenade someone
- Serenade someone in Romeo&Juliet style
- Sing to a live audience
- Get a doctorate degree, masters at the least
- Take a philosophy class
- Work for myself
- Start a business
- Work industriously in the field that I love
- Become financially independent and stable
- Be happy
- Be a better listener
- Get tipsy with good company
- Ask a stranger out for a date
- Find my soul mate
- Fall in love
- Get married in a small ceremony at the beach
- Attend the birth of a child
- Become a mentor
- Become a father
- Bury a grudge
- Buy a homeless person a warm dinner
- Contact an old friend
- Do something nice for someone who will never find out
- Give blood
- Give to charity
- Write a charity into my will
- Volunteer to help save the environment
- Help someone cross a road
- Learn about other religions
- March/Protest against something I care about
- Right a wrong
- Get to know my neighbors
- Introduce two people who fall in love
- Surprise someone
- Send "just because" flowers
- Sleep under the stars
- Sex on the beach
- Slow dance to a fast song
- Kiss someone mid-sentence
- Kiss in the rain
- Kiss a complete stranger
- Kiss behind a waterfall
- Kiss at the top of the ferris wheel
- Kiss under the mistletoe
- Get awoken by a kiss
- Tell someone I love them.
- Go streaking/skinny dipping
- Fly in a glider
- Race a Lamborghini and a Ferrari
- Sail a yacht
- Build a tree house
- Take a nap in a hammock
- Catch, cook, and eat a fish
- Have a food fight
- Experience an earthquake
- Spend the night in a haunted house
- Try to hit a major-league fastball
- Lie on the grass and read a book all day
- Go whalewatching
- Grow a rose garden
- Swim with dolphins
- Take a walk in the rain
- Visit major national parks
- Go bungee jumping
- Do a parachute jump
- Go whitewater rafting with friends
- Go on a hot-air balloon ride
- Learn a martial art
- Sail in a submarine
- Scuba dive/snorkeling
- Take part in a marathon
- Go kayacking/canoeing
- Learn how to snowboard
- Try surfing
- Try wind surfing
- Try water skiing
- Try rockclimbing
- Go to the Super Bowl
- Go to the Olympics
- Drink a mint julep at the Kentucky Derby
- Attend a World Cup game
- Attend a FA Cup Final game
- Watch the Sumo Wrestling Championship in Japan
- Run from the bull in the bull-running fiesta in Spain
- See a Broadway show, front-row center
- Watch a Shakespeare play
- Go on a search for Atlantis
- Witness a traditional Indian marriage
- Watch a solar eclipse
- Watch a lunar eclipse
- See the Northern Lights
- Retrace the steps of Marco Polo on the Silk Road
- Walk across the DMZ
- Run the Great Wall of China
- Ski the first tracks at Deer Valley
- Stay for a night at Neuschwanstein Castle
- Own a villa on Lake Como
- Purchase & Live in Oheka Castle
- Gain ownership of Lotte World
- Look over the edge at the Victoria Falls
- Top the Eiffel Tower
- Take a train ride on the Orient Express
- Go to the Galapagos Islands
- Climb the Andes up to Machu Pichu
- Ride a motorcycle across US
- Float along the Nile
- Climb Mount Olympus
- Ride a mule through the Grand Canyon
- Train like an astronaut at space camp
- Follow the crowd around the Rock at Mecca
- Fly across the Atlantic in a private jet
- Go on a date to the city during Christmas
- Stay for a night at Plaza Hotel, or whatever becomes of it
- Kiss a stranger on New Year's Eve in Times Square
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Begin each morning with a start, make every second count. Keep laughing and smiling, and discard regrets. Live every day like I mean it. Take every chance there is. Go on more roadtrips. Preserve wildlife, throw more parties. Be a lil badass. Call people, even if it's just to say "hi." Never hold myself back from expressing how I truly feel. Tell her the truth. Be the craziest one on the club dance floor. Freeze before the kiss, and stop time in the moment. Sneak into country clubs at night and party it out. Take pictures in cemeteries at night. Host a Dare Night. Sex on the beach. Appreciate the sunset and the sunrise a lil more. Take the risk. Face the fall. If it's my heart, then it's worth it all.
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